Monk Mentality | Most Inspiring Article
The greatest power is to be self-controlled To be able to train the mind and energy to focus it exactly where you want it, and when you want it to be You are completely detached and undeterred from external ups and downs You’re able to navigate anything that seems tough challenging fun excitement with the same amount of being equipoised and balanced an equanimity without being too excited in pleasure or being too depressed in pain Of knowing how to navigate every situation to me, that’s great strength and great power What people don’t know about me is that I was suspended from school three times for Trying out all sorts of things like things that people would never imagine if someone who goes on to be a monk I was experimenting with all the drugs in the world,
I had multiple relationships I was really trying to search for some sort of meaning Fulfillment and as far as long as I’ve known I’ve been chasing thrill I really value thrill and feeling like it might not see that coming Ya know not many people do it’s very different from 14 to 18 I was like this kid who just wanted to try new things out and My parents rhetoric would always well make sure you get good grades And I used to think well if I can be bad and get good grades, and then it’s all works where everyone’s happy so that’s kind of what I did and At 18.
I was really fortunate when I met a monk and this monk was invited to speak and I kind of just went because one of my friends forced me to at that time I was missing the CEOs and entrepreneurs and business people and marketers you who I thought that’s what I was aspiring to be like and then I had this monk and He captivated me as no one had ever captivated me before It was like staring at the most beautiful woman on the planet.
You know I was completely fixated on him and his message and That is the beginning without me going into too much detail before we plug That was the beginning of what changed me because I went from being someone who did only want all those things to become successful and Trying to but I started hearing my own inner voice Much more and all that noise that I had around me I remember one of my parents had a maths tutor for me because I wanted to be amazing at math and I was pretty good at numbers and
I’d have this tutor and he’d tell me that he goes the reason that you’re struggling with the next question is Because you’re always worried about what your parents think And and that really stayed in my head I was just like wow so as long as I’m trapped by what my parents think I can actually never find the answers to the real questions of life and there are all these little things happening I lost two great friends when I was 16 one girl died in a car accident One guy died because he was involved in drugs and violence That that made me rethink everything.
I just thought to myself wait a minute these were beautiful people that I loved People that in my opinion were good people, and I just lost them in a moment And it was kind of like this collation of little things that just made me think wait a minute having money having Fame this that Just doesn’t seem to add up and then and then meeting the monk kind of made that shift possible and as I said he was Completely captivating and then I found out that he’d given up jobs in Google and Microsoft to be a monk And I thought to myself who does that you know?
He’s given up everything that I’m chasing and they’re all my friends are chasing, but he seems happy of anyone I’ve ever met before and he spoke about this incredible principle where he said that we should plant trees under whose shade we do not plan to sit And he was speaking about this principle of selfless sacrifice and that kind of just Penetrated me right there when he said the words Selfless sacrifice for the first time in my life, I felt a thrill about something that I’d never felt before it oh wow Giving up everything you have for the service of others sounds like the best thing you could possibly do and I don’t know why I had that thought because I wasn’t a Spiritual kid growing up.
I wasn’t a religious kid growing up. I wasn’t even a good kid growing up I was just a rebel atmosphere trying things out and Experimental which I still consider myself and so what I started to do is I was interning At companies and firms and corporates thinking I was getting a grad job afterward And then I’d spend the rest of my summer holidays interning in India living with him as a monk So I’d use all my summer and Christmas holidays to just be out there with the monks And he introduced me to another 200 to 500 monks They were just like him just as smart.
Just as bright giving up everything they had and using all their skills to make the world a better I believe the moment as I was I’ve always had friends who are older than me and I could see a lot of them in the most successful careers successful jobs Beautiful partners whatever it was but I saw a sense of lack of fulfillment meaning and purpose in their lives and I’ve always been an observer and I would see these people are like five years older than me seven years old many maybe 10 years older than me, and I’d be watching them and go is that the life.
I want and often the advice I give to people today is Fast-forward where you are look at yourself in 10 15 20 years time and ask yourself the question is that where I want to be If you’re in a company look at the person who’s 20 years ahead of you and ask yourself is that where I want to be if you’re in a start-up Look at where other startups have got to in similar roles and go is that where I want to be and if the answer’s no Then you need to find a new part and for me the answer at that time from observing was no the path that my parents or Society or the university I went to or the community.
I had that was carving out for me it didn’t feel like the path for me, so I was almost seeking an alternative or a new path I was just so fortunate that it happened to be an uplifting powerful path as opposed to something that could have actually taken me down the wrong road Because that could have been possible, too So we wake up he’s like one of the most elite months, so we’re waking up at like 2 a.m. Every day after sleeping at like 9 or 10 p.m.
And then we study these ancient Vedas which are 5000 plus years old together, and we spend two hours I’m studying with the best of the best here, so he can like to analyze and assimilate And I’m learning fast taking notes then 4:00 a.m.
We go to collective meditation We do those practice fears with the other monks as well as 6 a.m.
We have personal meditation So I’m literally going through the life of a monk and falling in love with it step by step going well I’ve never had this experience before I just drew myself in and I was practicing it to the tee Right it wasn’t like oh no my back hurts when I sit on the floor I can’t stay here for too long, or you know today when people are like oh, I can’t meditate for longer than two minutes I was like no I’m gonna do it for two hours If that’s what they’re doing I’m gonna give it a go because I can only test the hypothesis will only be true if the experiment is carried out to the degree that they are So the hypothesis is if you live like this you’ll are happy more fulfilled Then I want to do that.
I think even one step before that is Opening yourself up to new role models and new experiences See we live in echo chambers.
We’re just surrounded by the same thinking how often do you bump into a monk? You know it just doesn’t happen.
You don’t have no one has a dinner party and goes Oh, yeah we didn’t buy the monk you know from a town like the local monk-like no one ever does that and so You meet people who are just like us most of the time? and we talk about this in business Woollett if you want to be a billionaire spend time with billionaires if you want to be a millionaire spent on millionaires if you want to be a Tech startup spend time with you know, that’s the common rhetoric that we hear all the time But what if you want to find purpose and master the mind?
There’s no one better than a monk who’s mastered the mind so for me the first step is just opening yourself up to new experiences, and new role models because most of us can’t see ourselves in People so then we try and fit ourselves into the boxes that we do see And and I mean there’s this beautiful quote that I’ve been saying it everywhere, and I wish I wrote it But I didn’t so it’s by a philosopher and writer named Cooley, and he said that today I’m not what I think I am.
I’m not what you think I am I am what I think you think I am? Understand that blow your mind from now.
It’s so powerful.
I’m not what I think I am I’m not what you think I am I am what I think you think I am So we live in this perception of a perception of ourselves Hence my identity is made by what my parents think I should be My identity is made up by what my college or university thinks I should achieve While you’re living in that bubble and that echo chamber Getting to what you really want to do is impossible Because maybe that just doesn’t fit,
And I think so many people feel that way today that they don’t fit into the current education system They don’t fit with the three or four or five careers that you’re taught exist so that process of self excavation and actualization First requires being exposed you can’t be what you can’t see if I never saw a monk I would never have wanted to be among if I never meet a billionaire I wouldn’t want to be one because I wouldn’t know what that feels like I don’t know what it looks like I don’t know what it takes and,
I think that’s the biggest challenge of our society that we’re not exposed so that’s the first step being exposed to unique experiences and role models Second step is finding that experience overall model that you’re passionate about and exactly like you said taking it seriously shatter their network with them spend time with them observe them even from afar it takes that observation being addicted to observing that person’s lifestyle and Then the third step is going yes, or not does that work for me Not everyone who’s gonna go up from becoming a monk is gonna.
Feel like the way I did and that’s cool But not everyone is gonna go and follow and shadow a billion anger that’s exactly the lifestyle I want then the result but do they want the hard work that goes with it and so for me That’s the third step its observing Focusing shadowing getting as close to the process of that individual and then going yes or no do I want that process Not do I want the result ever wants to be that monk who’s fully enlightened You know can walk through as an incredible or that people just gravitate Towards, but when you realize he has to wake up at 2:00 a.m.
Every day and sleeps about 4 to 6 hours You like that you know That doesn’t sound like me It’s more like a training system than it is a lifelong commitment It is bringing that mindset into the real world where you get to test it now I got to do that for real when I left being a monk around five years ago and When I left it was like oh my god.
I’m in the real world now again real world I have to think about how to apply all this I’m gonna test for real All this stuff that I’ve learned and I was scared like I was nervous I was anxious and all those things that I’ve been trained not to be Rushed back because For the first time in my life I had to really put it into practice and I love that feeling I’m so glad that I had to do that so for me.
Actually the mindset is completely Trainable to bring it into the real world.
That’s what I’m trying to do and what it allows you to do is it allows you to bring clarity and perspective when you need it Because you know when you can just take a bird’s-eye view from something You know when you need to get close into something.
You know when you need to pull back from something There’s a beautiful verse in the Bhagwad Gita.
That says that Detachment is not that you owe nothing detachment is that nothing owns you and I love it because to me that summarizes detachment in a way that it’s not usually explained Usually people see detachment as being away from everything Actually the greatest detachment is being close to everything and not letting it consume and own you and that’s real power That’s real strength How many people do we know that have had fame and then that fame has ruined them so for me that definition of detachment?
Is possible to practice even in the real world rather than saying oh, I’m just gonna have a really simple life I’m just gonna have nothing in life The best part about being a monk is that your morning routine and practices are so powerful that you can actually aspire for more incredible values in life because your mind is clear and you have That ability to have more clarity so you can seek that which is higher So I’ll give an example of what I’m defined. Yes.
Are we about to define? What is higher? Yes exactly so for me Being able to overcome Ego being able to overcome envy being able to overcome jealousy Being able to overcome the negative of competitive state There’s a positive competitive state and there’s a negative Competitive state today when people are looking on Instagram or Facebook or YouTube all you’re looking at is other got that many likes or he got that many likes she got engaged or he got married or
Oh my god Look at her body or look at that, and it’s like that stuff’s destroying us inside and the jealousy ego greed To be able to have enough clarity to purify yourself of those things is going to alleviate the biggest anxieties and depressions of our time and mental health problems and And we know that we know that because all the mental health research today suggests that things like isolation Overexposure we now can have more pain Consumption in one day because of what we were exposed to then the pain we would have had in a lifetime That’s huge.
I thought that’s ridiculous to think that one day because of the media in social media We consume more negative than we did in a lifetime for me being able to have time energy and clarity to focus on self purification That is the best thing about being a monk because you have that time Reflection and a process and an environment that only allows you to become more purified of those things So in an ideal life for me is a life and this applies to a company and organization and institution for me is An ideal life is when we all have ahead a heart
and a hand all three elements together Working in alignment without one of the other we start to lose something if you only have a head in a heart You’ll find that life is stable so ahead is the clarity of vision? What do you want? Knowing what you want the way you picture life and being able to navigate make the decisions to get there That’s a good head a good heart is Being able to understand what your intuition and heart one’s being able to connect and tap it into that Understanding deeper and beyond the vision you may have painted for yourself So I often say to people that you get to where you want in life just not in the way you imagined and that’s because The path that’s paved up and down is far different
to the path We pave so you can have a great head and a great vision and a great mission and know where you want to go but if your heart’s not able to have that resilience and be able to adapt and And have compassion and care and all of that then you’re not going to be able to make the toughest decisions without your heart but to be able to Realize that we need to care and be sustainable and long-lasting requires a heart and a hand is that service Wanting to pass that on that which you have wanting to give it forward pay it to forward The idea of serving with what you have I often say to people your passion is for you your purpose is for others Your passion makes you happy, but when you use your passion to make a difference in someone else’s life.
That’s a service That’s a purpose and that’s the Hat So those are my three elements of an ideal life So I studied behavioral science and universities I’ve always been fascinated by why people do what they do and when I was reading these books,
that is 5000 years old my greatest fascination was finding a principle and finding its relevance in modern science And I said to myself the day I can’t find that I’ll quit I won’t believe in this anymore So I’m still doing that and I’m ready to quit if someone shows me a piece of science and I can’t find a principal in these ancient literature’s so actually what I like to call this timeless literature’s then I’ll give up my faith because For me it has to track forward, and I’ll give you a really basic example today.
We’re in the gratitude movement.
There’s like a million Gratitude journals out there.
There are a million scientific studies on gratitude and gratitude has been linked to better mental health self-awareness better relationships I mean There’s so many scientific studies on the on the neural level that shows that gratitude is great for your mind brain and fulfillment Now I look back like Gratitude is all over the timeless wisdom one of the first things we were trying to do when we were a monk was to pay Our respects to the earth for what it gives us, and you do that first thing in the morning.
What is that? If not gratitude when you wake up in the morning just thank the earth for the food you thank the earth For the water you thank the earth for allowing yourself to walk You start your day with? Gratitude today the biggest tip on Forbes and ink and everything starts your day with gratitude like where does it come from? It’s right there these things are old, so I’ll I get fascinated I’m intrigued by the parallels and patterns because it saves you time It’s the same way as which if I say that this business person got invested by this company And that’s why they’re successful because they have the right investors etc That’s a pattern so I know if I’m building a business in that area.
I’m gonna look for investors like that It’s the same thing that pattern saves you time rather than you trying to figure out does gratitude work.
How shall I be grateful? Creating your own process almost the first answer.
I mean I’m a huge fan of the book Thinking Fast and Slow I don’t know if you’d read it.
It’s a great book because for me It’s got a really close patent connection again to what I studied So just understanding system 1 and system 2 if anyone watching hasn’t read it.
I highly recommend it. Just being able to differentiate between System 1 and system 2 as Daniel, Kahneman calls it in the Vedic philosophy.
We recall differentiating between the mind and the intelligence Knowing how the differently of the voices in your head is the first level of self-awareness? So break down what system 1 and system 2 are absolutely the system one is your initial response to anything that happens It’s it’s a stock that I can’t really say so if you say something I don’t like my system one naturally would be a face that I pull it on like I don’t agree with that That’s that’s the understanding of what system one, and it’s your initial default Reaction at the moment that can be positive often for example if someone pulls out a knife you feel scared and you run that System one.
That’s a good thing’s it’s safe for you, but also system one is someone says something that hurts your ego, and you start defending yourself immediately That’s also.
That’s a negative of system one that we would refer to as the mind it’s built up of conditioning those responses are conditioned those default elements are all there because of habit and continuous practice the system to is more like the intelligence what I would say is more like the Parent if you can pick and see the system one to be more like a child System two is more like a parent.
It looks more at the long-term It looks like the bigger picture it processes that default reaction through a set of checking and metrics to decide whether that’s true the child is there the one that wants everything right away impatient quickly responding straight away Reacting when it doesn’t get what he wants the intelligent parent and good one knows what the child wants and needs And what’s better for in the long? just starting there and Being able to reflect and observe the different voices inside of us is a great place to start your self-awareness Because the biggest challenge is that most of us? Don’t know what we’re listening to and we don’t most of us.
Don’t even know that there is more than one voice inside of us Just getting over that line is a huge win because now at least you’re trying to differentiate In what you’re hearing and that’s gonna help you make better decisions in the future so that was answered 1 The biggest challenge is that there’s just so much noise? It’s like have you ever had someone in your home.
Maybe it’s your wife or maybe it’s a friend or whatever Just play a really bad song too often You just play a song and just think I’ll turn that off and after a while It’s been on for so long that you become immune to it like it’s just there and it’s still on It’s there in the back of your mind and you didn’t manage to turn it off so the noise that I describe in life.
Whether it’s your parents expectations whether it’s society’s expectations Whether it’s your partner’s expectations all of those are like noise in the background and that noise drowns out your ability to understand the mind and the intelligence that’s one of the biggest trip-ups I Was looking at I gave a presentation called build a life, not a resume It’s also one of my popular videos, but very good video.
Thank you, man Thank you so much and when I did the research So you don’t see this in the video because this research didn’t make it into the video But the research that I was doing was around the most common resume lies The truth is over 40 to 50 percent of us lie on our resumes.
Yeah, if you don’t you’re missing an opportunity I’ll just say that yeah There you go right so and and I started to dig deeper and I was looking at you know a lot of people lie about their dates of employment so instead of 3 days it’s now 3 months You know whatever it may be now I dug deeper and I wanted to meet some of these people and speak to people and so I spoke to people who lie on their resumes and we know that at least 40 to 50 percent tell us they do Another thing is no one was proud of that.
No one was like yeah. Yeah, I know Really what it came down to is.
We’re really insecure about our own abilities Really what it came down to is.
We’re not confident about what we have to offer when it came down to the lack of self-awareness What it came down to is a lack of understanding? What am I good at what am I passionate about what am I bringing to the table? That’s what people were really worried about They were worried about the job, but when you dug beneath the surface the real behavioral trait That was coming out was insecurity and being unconfident About one’s potential that that tells us a lot that indicates a lot about human behavior and human nature that the noise from outside Makes us want to fit into a container and that
Stops us from differentiating between what is my mind saying and what is my intelligence saying and what happens is that noise becomes your voice? so that noise becomes what you think is what you’re saying and Most people don’t realize that until 10 20 30 years down the line we say this all the time But it applies mostly to this is switching your association It’s with notation to people that you hang out Right it’s like changing your circle because if you’re only hearing the same thing from that circle The only way to turn it off without you having to do mass amounts of reflection is Changing your circle where you start hearing we all ultimately find the things we want to hear right we know that So for me There were two questions that I had to ask myself that really changed what I do One of my big questions is what advice would I give to my younger self? It’s huge because I think that’s the stuff that we regret That’s the stuff that we wish we were doing that’s the stuff that has been lost in the noise when you ask somewhat advice, would you give to your younger self the number one answer is I wish I studied this I? I wish I tried this out.
I wish I gave this a go You know those are all things that somebody didn’t do yeah It’s all things that things people didn’t do it’s always like something that either should have just started or Didn’t continue, and that’s really tapping into someone’s voice Right that’s really tapping into what someone really wants to do and you’re going way beyond just like Oh.
What do you like? What are you passionate about so hard to answer that sometimes especially if you’re drowning? Does that add to your questions or what that’s really interesting yet now? I need to know what your answer was so I used to be Ice to do a lot of spoken-word when I grew up I read the dictionary and read it to Saurus.
I loved language That’s what I was fascinated by And for some reason I gave it up then I found out about a monk life became a monk and then almost back ten years On at 28.
I was going I asked myself that question and my answer was I miss words I miss expressiveness I miss sharing a message and stories through incredible language and ideas potential rhymes But the flow and all of these things so that was the answer to my question one of the biggest answers was I wish I never stopped,
So how do I find my passion my Simple model which is the Dharma model it also dharma means eternal duty in the Vedic tradition It’s very similar to what yoga is being spoken about today Which is a Japanese version of the reason for being? Why do we live? Where is meaning coming from and it talks about an intersect of four areas what am I good at? What do I love what is the world need and how do I get paid for it to me that four help you unlock your passion when you find the intersect across all of those four You’re making your passion your purpose.
You’ll unlock your passion.
You’ll find your purpose.
This is path one There’s two paths path one I find my skill set and I engage it to help other people and become better at it So I’m becoming better what I’m good at and I’m using it to help other people because I’m aware of what I’m quite good at and I know what more knowledge I have what skills I have I have some self-awareness the other path that people often miss is actually I just start serving people I just start helping people and I start to notice what I enjoy about that and what I’m good at helping people with so That’s Gandhi’s part Nandi said that you find yourself when you lose yourself in the service of others so for me those are the two paths of how do I find my passion and finding the intersect between those four areas?
And the second one is Jay my relationships falling apart I get asked that all the time so the answer to that is much harder Okay, it’s it’s harder to summarize it, but I always start with self-actualization that The problem is we have a list for the one that we want And we don’t have a list for what we need to become and I don’t mean become to attract I mean become to just be to just get to understand yourself You don’t know what you need in your life until you figure out who you are and so I find too many people rush into Relationships without really recognizing and being fully aware of what they need from a relationship So it all comes back to how aware are you how much understanding?
Do you have of yourself and what you need and what you want? that’s my best advice for the relationship in like a minute and then the third question, I mostly get asked is Jay.
What do you read like? What are your favorite books because it seems you read a lot? What are your top three books? They’re not groundbreaking in the sense that people may not be like oh, that’s the best book.
I’ve ever read for me they changed my life, so that’s where I’m coming at a point from I Love start with Y by Simon Sinek and not because I applied it to Businesses because I applied it to my life and even today I’m constantly refining my Y That’s all I do every day my deepest morning routine and practice is to define why I do what I do It’s so easy for me to now do it for money.
It’s so easy for me to now do it for followers it’s so easy for me to now do it for fame and Every day I have to refine that because I know Having lived as a monk and what I practiced that if those become what I want, then.
I’ll forget who I need to be So my daily practice my daily routine is refining my intention which in modern language is wide So for me is Simon’s book help me do that the Bhagavad-gita which I would love to do for Vedic knowledge what Ryan’s done for stoicism and The bug would be to over 5,000 years old and that book really Exemplifies human challenge third book I’d say this one’s gonna.
Be hard cuz it’s the last one Let me think I’m gonna try throw something else in there So I’ve done one like self-development one more spiritual enlightenment.
Let me throw a Business book in seeing as I’m sure you have a lot of business a few years.
I love the book exponential organizations I don’t if you read it by Saleem Ishmael and the singularity University and That book for me is an incredible analysis of the success of all the organizations we see ruling our phone today The way it breaks down their business models, and how they were created to me it’s fascinating so if anyone really wants to start up an Exponential business today, and that’s where they have to go and that’s when Peter Diamandis said that if you want to be a billionaire Redefining it is someone who impacted the lives of a billion people and that’s what that business book is really about is How do you claim exponential organization that positively impacts a billion people so those are my three for today?
Element environment and energy Everyone has an element that they thrive in If you take someone out of it the element they won’t be the same a modern-day example would be Michael Jordan He was incredible at basketball you took him out of basketball put him into baseball no one remembers his career We talk about one the best athletes of all time Your environment is the environment around you you can take a fish out of water? And give it a beautiful mansion and a Bentley and all the money in the world But it would die and that’s what we are like our environment Everyone is an environment which may thrive which we have to craft your boss if you’re at work is never gonna Ask you anyway What environment you succeed in right like that never happens?
So we have to create an environment where we thrive and then finally its energy We some of us love high energy environments high pressure some of us succeed in lower energy environments and low pressure Figuring out your energy and the frequency on which you operate best will help you thrive as well so for me those are the three e’s to really create a thriving environment know your element know your Environment and know your energy and so at all times if I see anything going wrong, I’m going is my element out of alignment is my Environment out of alignment or is my energy out of alignment?
That’s a great three-question test you can do to yourself when you don’t think things are going right and all you have to do Is bring that back into alignment? The impact that you want to have on the world I think you’ve said it, so Beautifully so many times and shared my vision which is wonderful and it’s wonderful to know that we should share the same thing It’s making wisdom go viral.
There’s an incredible study in 2017 that said the most successful people in the world healthy wealthy and wise choose education over entertainment The impact I want to have from the world is I want to transform and revolutionize the entertainment industry So that it becomes educational without anyone knowing so it’s still completely Entertaining it’s still like watching Netflix But you’re learning about human behavior the mind neuroscience and everything without even knowing you are to me That’s the greatest win that we can have for our society.
How many people are going to quit watching Netflix I’m reading a book every night?
I don’t know But if we can make that book come to life on Netflix That’s going to change the world because that’s what people are going to consume so for so long Media has been used to numb people to to switch people off if we can use it to excite elevate enlighten people not by just Not by like the cheesy way of like Oh, let’s follow someone through their journey of enlightenment or like that kind of stuff.
I mean really entertaining programming Where you can learn by being entertained at the same time if I can do that by changing the most powerful industry in the world Then I will feel that I’ve had some whatever an impact Because that way I think will reach the world without having to get on to change their habits too much,
My thing is how do we meet people where they are and? And really deliver a message and a powerful expression of love and to me, that’s the highest form of compassion the highest form of empathy love and compassion Is to meet people where they already are rather than expecting them to change and yeah? That’s the impact I’d like to have in the world fingers crossed with your help with the help of everyone who’s watching you know It’s gonna be a team effort.